Canadians, Trannies and Brits - Oh My!

I said it was coming and now it's here: the awesome story of my third Warped Tour experience... from, like... 5 weeks ago. *ahem* Moving on!

Warped Tour '09 almost didn't happen for me... because I'm an idiot. Mike knew I was going, so we were planning for me to be out of the office that entire day. Then Mike's little brother mentions that he was going to the show the next day, the 14th. I had previously thought it was the 21st (like an idiot). So Mike calls me up, makes me double check my ticket and he's right (and I'm an idiot). So this drastically changes things, like having to get a REAL amount of sleep for the next day.

I get up extra early so I can pack up for the concert and jet to work early. I figured I'd skip all the potential backup to the Columbia venue by already being there. Got to the office around 5:30 AM, let myself in, locked up, then went right to the massage room with no windows and the most-padded semblance of a bed, to sleep until I knocked a few hours out on an early shift. Then... the Mexicans showed up... to clean the place, of course. I locked the doors to keep them out rather than going out and explaining why I was there already. Little sleep was had. Knocked out a few hours on the job, then zipped over to Merriweather.

First and foremost, I will say that the weather was amazing all day long. I remember there being the constant threat of rain or whatever thinking about falling, but it never did. I chilled at the mall to let the entry lines fade, then ducked inside after about 30 mins. Made my trip to the giant inflatable wall to scope out the schedule, jotted down who I needed to see where... and then it began.

Never have I gone to a Warped Tour and known so few bands on the bill, so that made it an incredible opportunity to discover some new blood or some old blood that had previously missed my ears. I didn't get to see every group I wanted, but definitely got to see my share of good and bad acts. Here's the breakdown...

Senses Fail - the only band I made mandatory since I've come to discover their entire discography in the last year or so. Kind of a short set, but I'll hit them again in October when they visit Towson. But they played the fav's, like "Can't Be Saved" and "Rum is for Drinking, Not for Burning." Buddy does a lot of mic swinging... like, a LOT. Might need to tone that down and focus on having the mic in-hand when it's time for the vox, but hey, who's the rockstar here? Not me.

I also had the pleasure of collecting autographs and handshakes from each one of the guys at their signing. I even ran into Buddy again after their show and talked him up a little bit. Certainly glad to have dedicated, authentic bands like them on the tour. I got some pics with the guys, but I'll save them all for when I have every shot I wanna share. (Stupid phone!)

TAT - the award for Surprise Awesomeness goes to this punk/rock trio from England. I just happened to be walking by their stage as thing were ramping up and got sucked in. In the interviews I've seen, they agreed when someone characterized their sound as "Joan Jett meets Green Day." And my God, are they addictive! Their frontlady is crude, hilarious, smokin' hot and a phenomenal guitarist! Every guy would try to nail her if she wasn't capable of kicking our each and every ass. I didn't know any of the songs then, but I remember lots of catchy riffs, enticing lyrics and several spots prime for audience participation.

This little dialogue sums up the thrill of getting to see them:
Tatiana: How many of you all have heard of us before?
Crowd: *about half of everyone woo's and cheers*
Tatiana: Well, how many of you motherfuckers have heard of us now?!
Crowd: *EVERYONE goes off like mad*

Their bassist, Nick Kent... solid. Dude is loud and lively. It's rare a bassist catches my eye/ear, but he's just that good. Check out their album, Soho Lights. It's freakin' gold!

Alexisonfire - this is another group I just happened upon near the end of the day. Their music seemed like something I might wanna check out later, but that's not what hooked me (though it isn't without merit). A song or two in, a "that guy" near the front chucks a cup of ice and it spills on the lead guitarist (who was kicking lots of musical ass). Half of the band plays on while the other half drops gear and goes after this dude! You don't fuck with the band - they're Canadian, but they'll still beat your ass for being so audacious. Lucky for that guy, security got their hands on him before the band did. Had that not been the case...? Yikes. I took a break from them for about 60 seconds to see the big headliner across the field everyone was talking about, 3OH!3. They blew chunks - that is all. Went back to the rockin' Canucks. Didn't stay for the whole set... last group of the day, tired, gave up and called it a success. Lots of dynamic sound, good use of all the members on vocals and instrumental layering... need to check them out more on album-quality stuff.

Anti-Flag - these guys remind me of Rise Against in their style and anti-authority theme. They even chastised the elevated VIP stands for not coming down and joining the rest of the crowd in the mix. But they were't all "fuck you"s and yelling - they played some good songs, none of which I knew before, but they drew me in faster than anything else I'd seen that day. Again, definitely need to see more. But also credit them for riling the crowd up into one of the most vigorous mosh cyclones ever. I just ran and bumped and picked people back up until my lungs were dust-coated from the frenzy. Another good pic to come of that.

Neat little PS from those guys... I'm walking back to my car and I pass Justin Sane as he's biking around. Couldn't navigate him to a hotel like he needed, but I thanked him sincerely for coming out and he took his praise graciously. Very cool guy.

Those are all the highlights... time for some lesser events.

Escape the Fate was good.

Behold the Flood was surprisingly good for a little local group.

Millionaires made me want to hurt someone - they sang poppy songs about being divas and they danced. You're at an underground punk-rock show. We don't have room for circus acts.

Jeffree Star epitomizes "circus act" like nothing else I saw that day. This flamingly gay transvestite vocalist did nothing but strip off his clothes, sing raunchy, faddy songs and call everyone bitches in every way he could. They made me want to rethink freedom of speech. I know music is a very subjective topic, but they have no substance or heart. I can't wait for these fakes to fizzle out and get min. wage jobs.

Westbound Train was... out of place. This was a very enthusiastic jazz ensemble that was playing the other half of the pavillion stage before Senses Fail came on. So the crowd was kinda loaded in the exact opposite way they wanted. They were decent, but need to find a new channel that suits them better. They started playing "Shout!" and everyone just wanted them to keep getting "a little bit softer now..." until they left. They win the ever-depressing Participation Ribbon.

And then, while I was waiting in line for the Senses Fail signing, I got to watch this one spastic dude in action. All he had with him was his sign pointing towards "Free Stuff" and a whole lot of sexual frustration. This was made evident by his ever-expanding variety of suggestive dance moves involving the large sign-on-a-stick. One of those random things that will always stick with me... sadly.

So that's about it. Some highs, some lows, some starvation, and lots of exhaustion. Got home, showered off the multilayered crud on my skin and called it a solid win. Viva la Warped! (Pics to follow - harrass me if I stall too long.)