Midnight meme

Alright - for reasons of blogger-audience confidentiality, I can't tell you who exactly I stole this meme from, but his/her name rhymes with Bikki DeFlarco. Having said that, here we go!

A - Age: 25
B - Band listening to right now: Atreyu

C - Career future: physical therapist or rockstar - it's honestly a toss-up at this point

D - Dad's name: Richard

E - Easiest person to talk to: Nikki or Laura

F - Favorite type of shoe: eh - whatever's comfy

G - Grapes or Grapefruit: "grapes, grapefruit are gross." (You said it, Bikki!)
H - Hometown: Waldorf, MD
I - Instrumental talent: electric guitar... that's about it
J - Juice of choice: orange
K - Koala Bear or Panda Bear: Koala, but only because of fond memories of some old Nickelodeon cartoon that featured them.
L - Longest car ride ever: probably Waldorf, MD to Nashville, TN
M - Middle name: Neal!

N - Number of jobs you've had: 6, but only if you count my old babysitting days
O - OCD traits: Hardly OCD, but I prefer the open side of my pillowcase to be to my back.
P - Phobia[s]: being forgotten
Q - Quote: "There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do." -Bill Watterson
R - Reason to smile: New books, visiting friends, upcoming date!
S - Song you sang last: "My Heart" by Paramore
T - Time you wake up: 8:00ish
U - Unknown fact about me: I have the worst case of delayed reaction ever. It involves a joke from a Calvin and Hobbes strip and an "ant-elope" pun. Then it hit me nearly 10 years later.
V - Vegetable you hate: Brussel sprouts taste like condensed evil.
W - Worst habit: going to bed without brushing my teeth
X - X-rays you've had: teeth, chest
Y - Yummiest food your belly likes: cheese toast, meaty pizza, Mom's pot pie, 5 Guys burgers
Z - Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Sometimes work is really funny.

Well, crap. I've been thinking about posting another blog lately, mostly just a self-addressed letter telling me that I needed to get back in the habit. But leave it to Laurel to post something new and now make ME look like the laziest blogger. Game on, Sutton!

It's weird and kinda silly how I'm always waiting for something deep or profound to blog about and not just semi-normal funniness or oddities. Today was actually marked by a couple of those funnoddities. (Neat word, huh? You know you wanna use it!) Fortunately, both of them came thru work, so that made for a more enjoyable shift.

#1 - The other guy I work with had a guy coming to get a strength test for a job application. This test involves maximum exertion for a few quick rounds, so Mike and I try to keep pushing them and shouting encouragement. But when Mike walked back to our desk with his "no friggin' way..." expression, he explained that this heavily Hispanic guy knew barely enough English. So as a joke of a bet, I offered $20 for Mike to start yelling, "Arriba, arriba! Andale, senor!" The result? I kept my $20 and we avoided legal complications. :P

#2 - The washing machine is on its last legs, which is why Mike and I also got to drive around Columbia to drop off 100 lbs of dirty towels and pillowcases. It got semi-fixed this afternoon, but Jonathan asked me to make a sign so that the other employees would know to be gentle with it. I got creative and made this....

"Me fail laundry? That's unpossible!"
Please wash only small loads since this machine is almost shot.
Do it for Ralph.

This gave me great enjoyment! Plus I've just learned how easy it is to embed images into blogs. Time to start taking more pics for everyone! Woot!

Musical Frustration

Despite the title, this has nothing to do with my own musical endeavors or somewhat dormant creativity of late. This story, which still somewhat upsets me, is about people I didn't know at the time, nor will I ever see them again.

Wednesday night was a fairly pleasant evening at Tyson's Corner, enjoying dinner with Nikki, Andersons and Sextons... Oh - and some DeMarcos were there as well. Dinner was quite enjoyable (save for the temperature and the long wait). But I had arrived at the mall and found the restaurant well ahead of schedule, so I ambled about to see what was to see. This includes no bathrooms and no maps. Non-peeing, easily-navigating jerkholes...

Anywho, I found my way into a Sharper Image store because I like electrons and such. They had an electric guitar starter kit, so I felt obligated to try it out and play rockstar for the rest of the crowd. The staff member that gave me the OK to play it stood around and complimented some of my crappier playing, probably thinking that he was gonna get me to buy something. Poor fool.

While I was playing and checking out the kit, a mother comes up to the salesman and starts asking about the package, particularly if it would be fitting for her 5/6-year-old son. Then the salesman said something about it being too complicated for a child of that age. The mother discussed with someone on the phone how that was the gift he was looking for: an electric guitar start-up kit. But she dismissed the purchase on account of the Sharper Asshole advice.

This is where I should've stepped in, and I still feel regret that I didn't. Honestly, I don't know who to be more angry with: the mother or the salesman. The mother shouldn't have listened to the salesman, who obviously hasn't held a guitar in his life. This is what her son wanted, and it was a good-quality kit. "Too complicated" my ass... Yes, it's a very complex and diverse instrument, but you don't have to be a technical master to use it as an outlet of musical passion. And shame on that guy for indirectly telling a kid he's not good enough for something. Something he might have a great passion and dream for, no less. I hope they both realized their mistakes later on, and I hope the kid plays whatever the hell he wants, no matter who says he can't.

I am obviously a huge advocate of making music a part of people's lives. Yeah, sometimes I come off very opinionated and condescending in my tastes and knowledge. But if someone's heart is behind making a sound that's beautiful and moving to them, who am I to judge? It's not our love of the same music that unites us, but rather the love itself. Love without limitations, and turn up the volume as high as you can stand.

I'm registering WetRiffs.com. Let's get on this.

Here's my 20+ quirks that some might find weird, but others might see as endearing. Enjoy and feel free to remind me of anything I forgot. (Now get that post back up, Laurel!)

1. I make equations out of my odometer readout, and also get excited when it's a palindrome.
2. I can't dance worth anything.
3. I am very opinionated about music.
4. My skills in the kitchen are quite lacking. I am content with bagel bites or PBnJ.
5. I travel to see my family almost every weekend.
6. I do my grocery shopping at 11 PM.
7. I rock out hard in public and don't care who sees me.
8. I would rather talk online than on the phone.
9. I am extremely hesitant to share romance details with my family, mainly the parents.
10. I read books about science, death and cadavers and it doesn't bother me.
11. I'm not antisocial, but I have a hard time with new people.
12. Sometimes I'm a spiteful jerk on the road.
13. I quote movies, TV and Homestar Runner... a LOT.
14. I overthink just about everything.
15. I don't feel guilty about spending my time reading.
16. I might love hoodies and sweatpants a little too much.
17. I can still use various body parts to make fart sounds.
18. I love playing both my PS2 and Wii. I am a gaming nerd, though not to the creepy extent.
19. I really enjoy the comfort of not wearing pants.
20. I have a strange fondness for fire, and a hint of pyromania.

Bonus quirks!
21. If I'm about to rinse my hair out in the shower, I always rinse my lathery hands off first.
22. I believe the 5-second rule is totally relative. The 3 factors are what you dropped, what did it land on, and will anyone see you if you pick it up?
23. I relate very closely to several XKCD strips. (http://xkcd.com/238/, http://xkcd.com/252/, http://xkcd.com/150/, http://xkcd.com/231/, http://xkcd.com/337/ and http://xkcd.com/175/) Okay - I gotta stop; that could keep going on and on....
24. I can flip small pieces of food or candy nose-to-mouth.
25. I will still go ballistic over bubblewrap. Bigger bubbles = greater excitement!

New job: check; big raise: check; asshole patients: check.

So today wrapped up my first week of full-time work at my new job in Columbia. I'm not sure I've explained it much to people, but I'm now an Exercise Specialist. No more silly gopher work for me! I do some work with cardiac rehab patients, basically taking vitals every so often and keeping them on track with their routines. I will also be doing some personal training with patients that need some one-on-one supervision. Oh - and the Biodex. The Biodex is a big machine that we can use for all sorts of things, but some companies will send us interviewees to make them take a strength test that's relevant to their job. Lots of new toys and protocols to learn, lots of people to interact with, lots of excitement. Overall, it's been a good first week.

It's really strange having that "new guy" label again, especially after being the veteran and go-to-guy of Pasadena. I think I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to impress these people and connect with them, but it's probably too much. I know from my sport psychology that team cohesion comes from success more than success comes from cohesion. But I don't feel like one of the crowd yet. It's kind of intimidating to be in such a huge facility with so many people. And with so many people comes so little time to see each of them. I dunno... At least I'm not pressing myself on people and trying too hard, but I'm anxious to hit that comfort/reliability zone. But then this was only the first week.

Did I mention that this is a major raise for me? Yeah. So when my boss called me a few months ago and told me I was the #1 guy on his list for this job, I was psyched. Then when he tossed out a salary number, I thought he was kidding. It's more than double my income as an experienced, skilled tech! PLUS, I'm gonna get paid for my travel miles! We might not log new miles, but just compensate me for old miles driven, but that's like 1.5 years times 30 miles. Ka-CHING! This means there's a good chance I could be emancipated from my dependence on Mom-n-Dad Welfare, Inc. That would be so awesome! Now... what to do with all this extra cash? :P

What does this mean for grad school? I dunno yet. I'm certain that I'm not gonna pursue anything in the next year. I want to really work my way into this job before I start fading out for academic crap again. Do I want a PTA, a DPT or just keep it up with my new spot? I dunno yet, but I've got more time to think it thru. I'm happy because I know I'm making these decisions for me and me alone. I have nobody's model to live up to or standard to meet. I just have to set and work for my own goals.

And now it's story time! Please keep your arms and legs inside the blog at all times. Also secure any loose items you may have brought on with you including purses, wallets, jewelry and other items I will keep if you forget them. Here we go... So Columbia is supposed to be one of those business-thick, rich, snobby areas. I've heard some stories of patients being very blunt, intrusive and rude, but my reception so far has been very welcoming and pleasant. Maybe it's because our population is typically much older, and old people are trying to be nice so they get into Heaven when they die next weekend or whatever. :P But I had my first two encounters today.

#1: I had to be there at 6:45 this morning. That suuuuucked. But I got there and let in all the fitness program people that just want to work out super-early. Most people know my policy on being up before the sun, but I make the effort. So they all get to work and I kick on the radio so they'll have some background noise. But the reception seems to be kinda finicky, so I sometimes have to search around for a station (a GOOD station) that isn't fading in and out. 99.5 will play fine as long as I stand up on my chair in a certain position, but I'm not doing that. First I get a complaint about static, so I try searching around again. The stations I'm used to hearing are kinda hit-or-miss. So before I found something steady I heard one of the older guys commenting how "the new guy just wants to play with buttons." Bite me, sir. My job has nothing to do with keeping you musically entertained. I never let on that I heard him, but I was still annoyed that my attempts to please were seen as just messing around. Bah - go die already.

#2: There's this hilarious old lady we call Dot that comes in and keeps us occupied. We like giving her a hard time and she likes giving it back. Those are the best patients, the ones that you can joke with and be sarcastic and they'll dish it right out to you. So I was standing around talking with her while I was starting to walk back to my desk. I joked about how I had to quit listening to her and go do my job. That's when Fatty McEavesdropperson kept her eyes on her book, but not-so-directly addressed me with, "That (listening to the patient) IS your job." Bitch, I know what my job is. And I don't care what she thinks of me because she doesn't know me and how I like to interact with patients. Again, didn't say anything to her, but just irked me a bit.

One week down, many more to go. I have a long weekend, so that should be quite enjoyable (despite the total lack of college football). I'm gonna spend some time reading since my queue is piling up, and hopefully take care of some Christmas shopping. Oh - and everyone be safe on the roads with all this snow/sleet/crap hitting. H to the oight!

I'm thankful that Thanksgiving is over!

Let me tell you, kids, it's been one crazy year at Fat Camp. No - I'm not still one of the pudgy overweight camp-kids. I've moved up to being one of the fat counselors and bunk managers that make you go, "Wait - why am I listening to this fatter-ass? He's still fat..."

Okay, so that's not entirely true. But I have been enjoying this lengthy break from work on the longest span of not-working since last Christmas. It was a pretty good holiday. But as my title suggests I'm quite happy to be back at my apartment where it's quiet and predictable and under control. But lemme back it up and take you thru the highlights reel! (Please queue up your own flashback music/sound effects.)

This was probably the easiest Thanksgiving our family has done in a long time. It was just me, the parents, the niece and Kelly and Chris. I got my nap in early that day, then enjoyed some scattered football viewing. Then Leah slept thru most of dinner, so that was quiet. Well, except when we almost made Kelly wet herself with laughter over having extra surplus of mashed potatoes. I dunno how it got that funny, but it was great. Some friends from church came over later for dessert, so more noise was made and Wii games were played. I still have some cherry pie and 4-layer pie in my fridge, but it won't last long.

Friday was pretty chill. Let the record state that I did zero shopping. I wasn't about to go fight my way thru the hordes of rabid savings-driven people. I'm not that patient and I know it. I mostly goofed off until I got a call from my TKD buddy Hayley telling me I should come over and visit. So I drove over and got to meet her cute little daughter. We had some difficulty in ordering and retrieving some carry-out, but we finally came back with mini-burgers and steak, a winning combo every time. By the time I went home, there were two more parents in the house: parents of the Anderson variety. So we all had another good dinner together: PORK SHOULDER! And of course, more pie for dessert.

Then yesterday was kinda interesting... It started with me making a poor trip to Kohls, getting my gas cap crushed, then driving to Burke. We met up with my aunt and uncle and my cousins for brunch. We took lots of nice pictures outside, then raced inside for the Va. Tech game. Hokies made me sweat a little again, but they pulled it out like they should have. Should be a good ACC Champs game this week! So it was a great family encounter until the following dialog came to be with my aunt:

Aunt: ...it was nice seeing you again. You should know you're in my prayers every day.
Me: Okay, what for?
Aunt: Y'know, so you can find someone right for you and (blah blah blah).
Me: Yeah, I'm trying not to worry much about that right now.
Aunt: Oh, right. I'm not worried either.
Me: Umm... yes you are! (She DID just say she was praying every day, right?!)
Aunt: Well, is it wrong of me to be praying for you? I just want you happy.

This annoys me about my Aunt Nancy. She acts as if I am less of a person or incomplete because I'm not paired off yet. It took me a while to realize it, but I am a whole person by myself and I don't need someone else to complete me. Having someone to compliment and add to me would be nice, but I am not missing something because I'm single. It's not really so horrible, so what if I'm happy like this? Is she praying against my happiness? Grrrr - silly old people.

Anywho, I stuck around Burke after everyone else had left... watched more football, ate more pork shoulder sammiches, ambled around Target. I eventually drove back to my place, and I'm greatly appreciating the quiet I've found. It's kinda like a buffer day between those rigors and then going back to work. I'm gonna take care of some minor shopping things, then just lounge around and read. Hope everyone else had a good one. Hoight!

PS - I encountered some crappy traffic here and there, but one big bag of douche stand out in my mind. I think the rudest thing you can do to someone on the road is flash your brights from behind as a get-out-of-the-way signal. Discuss and cite examples.

Best. Uncle. EVER.

Yes, I have doubted my abilities to perform up to par in my role as an uncle, and I'm sure times will come that uncertainty sneaks up again, but I am now thoroughly convinced that I am THE best uncle there has ever been. All my thanks to Leah for making this so. Here's how I know...

I got back to Waldorf late Saturday night, so all the ladies (including Leah) were fast asleep. It wasn't until the next morning that we saw each other. I stumbled sleepily downstairs and heard Leah, Kelly and Dad in the living room. I peeked around the corner and squeaked to get her attention. Then it happened: she turned, recognized me, then ran across the room with a jubilant growl/laugh and arms outstretched for a full-contact hug. Kelly informed me that that was the happiest she had been all morning. I believe it because I remember some alarming crying from early morning. No more.

Fast-forward *badoop baDOOP* to lunchtime. Her father has lovingly prepared a grilled cheese sammich for her and sliced it into handy triangles. I am meanwhile juggling her in the living room and we decide to sit at the computer desk and watch the fish swim all around (as the screensaver). Leah loves her fish. So she kinda lounges on me while Chris looks for her highchair. Having no luck, we decide she seems content enough just sitting on my lap and fish-watching. She hums to herself and snacks on her lunch, but also handing me alternate bites so I can enjoy it too. It's so simple, isn't it? Eating lunch, watching digital fish, being happy. Yes - I rule. A-thank you.